On the Pandemic and Anniversaries

On the Pandemic and Anniversaries

On March 10th, 2020, we were pulled out of school. We only left our house for walks, then only for walks with masks, then we didn’t leave our house at all. 

If you had told me a year ago today that in a few days my life would be flipped upside down, I wouldn’t have believed you. It all seemed so normal, and then suddenly: boom! No more school, no more friends, basically no more outside life. 

A week ago, my phone gave me a little notification from the photos app, showing me my photos from a year ago. I looked at the pictures, and they shocked me. About a year ago, I had gone with my class to a play adaptation of “To Kill A Mockingbird” at Madison Square Garden, with almost 18,000 other kids. Can you believe that? A little over a year ago, I was in an enclosed space with more than four people.

And the craziest part was that, in the reflection that I wrote about it for school, I didn’t talk about how it was absurd there were that many people there. All I wrote about was how it was weird there were adult actors pretending to be kids (still think it’s kinda weird).

One would think that going through this change has been hard. It is, but not as much as you might expect. No one I know has lost their job or died or gotten horribly sick from the virus. These are the real losses and in comparison, my struggles seem much smaller.

For me, there’s mostly stress and exhaustion. It’s hard, knowing that I’ve missed a ton of things I was looking forward to. Eighth grade is supposed to be the year of Bat Mitzvah celebrations, but I’ve only actually been to one in person, just before the pandemic hit and our isolation began. It was amazing dancing and having fun with my friends. I enjoyed every second of it, from hopping in my friend’s car to carpool to the party and then to the end when we all left on a sugar high. It felt like I was just getting a taste of my future, where I would be able to go to parties and have fun. 

I’ve missed out on seeing my friends in person every day, and things have felt uncertain. What will the future of my friendships be? What school am I even going to next year? How long will this go on?

But there’s some good stuff too. I’ve been given the resources to take school at my own speed and I don’t even have to change clothes to go to school (don’t worry, I do it anyway). I have learned to make dinner for myself, trained a dog, learned to love my cat. And everything I do, I do it with a renewed gratitude, knowing that at any moment, my life could be turned upside down yet again.

I also feel more connected to my friends and family. The loss other families are experiencing has reminded me of the importance of my own. I FaceTime my grandparents over dinner and am sure to be active on the family text chain. 

I also call my friends a lot more, too. We work on homework together and talk about TV shows or movies. When I have a problem, I go to my friends first. If I’m feeling annoyed about how the kids who go in-person to school on some days get to bond and laugh, I just call my friends, and we commiserate about being fully remote. Our shared challenges bring us together. Somehow, in being separated, I have never felt more connected.

I also have become more proactive in my schoolwork. It’s more in my own hands, and this has made me adopt new strategies, like daily reminders or even developing the skill of using Zoom.

But most importantly, I’ve gotten tons of time with my family. Sometimes we fight, but sometimes I am reminded of just why I love them. We’ve grown a lot too, more than we would in a normal year. We’ve learned to tolerate each other every moment of every day, and sometimes we are even nice to each other! But seriously… living with each other 24/7 is something that some other families can do, so I’m grateful that my family has weathered one year of pandemic life.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Covid-19 was nothing more than a little cold. I would have enjoyed parties with my friends, not to mention simple things like riding the bus with them.  I would have been able to continue to travel. And everything would just play out how I had expected it to in school, with no complications whatsoever.

But there was a pandemic, and even though I can waste as much time as I want wishing there wasn’t one, that’s not going to change it. So instead, I’m going to think about the good things. 

All in all, I know that I’m lucky, but still I long to see my friends and extended family. And today it feels crazy to think that a year ago, I only had a few days left of a “normal” life. Somehow, the fact that it has been one year since I had a “normal” life doesn’t make me long for the days before but puts value to the days of the pandemic. I started learning a new language (Hola!), am training a dog, can cook pretty well, can manage myself much better, am closer to my family and friends. And all of this wouldn’t be possible without a pandemic. 

If I could flip a switch and save the world from going through a pandemic, I would. But no one has that switch. I feel lucky to have been spared the worst of it and grateful for what I have learned along the way.   

About the Author

Dora